on the road in subic -- pin driving, me in the passenger seat, che and marijo in the backseat. windows open, hair blowing in the wind, sun glistening off lips lined with strawberry flavored lipgloss, bikini strings peeping from beneath shirt straps. all feeling too fabulous for words.
trying to turn into the parking lot leading to the duty free grocery but can't as Traffic Cop #1 is issuing a ticket to an errant maroon mitsubishi lancer.
Traffic Cop #2 sees our car not able to turn and seems very eager to help.
Traffic Cop #2 says to Traffic Cop #1 : Patabihin mo yan (pointing to the errant lancer). Hindi makadaan etong mga .... (trails off, apparently unsure of what to say next)
Me : (vaguely menacingly to Traffic Cop #2) Etong mga ano?
Traffic Cop #2 : Etong mga magaganda (scratches head in embarrassment)
gales of cackling laughter from the rest of the passengers in the car.
(buti na lang di ko sinabing, etong mga lesbiana)
Friday, May 27, 2005
Friday, April 22, 2005
when was the last time you did something for the first time?
the past two weeks have been choc-a-block full of first times.
1. first time to try weed (with very strange results)
2. first time to dive in davao (played matchmaker to a pair of nudibranchs)
3. first time to miss a flight (but caught the next one still with sand on my feet resulting from a mad amazing race dash from the beach)
4. first time to hang out with kids with cancer and figure out that play is a universal language
5. first time to travel on the roof of a bangka (and scream hysterically at passing dolphins along the way)
6. first time to lie in a hammock strung on a floating barge under a moonlit sky at a beach in the middle of nowhere
7. first time to see a shooting star as big and as bright as a meteor (and think it was going to hit us which would have been the end of us)
8. first time to explore a countryside aboard a motorcycle
9. first time to say "this is the life" four days in a row
10. first time to get tanned to the point of resembling the color of an eggplant
11. first time to find the smile i thought i had lost forever.
thanks to ninin tatit angie joncam jerry sherwin miah bayani jerry mehanne for the most unbelievable two weeks i can ever remember having.
Monday, April 11, 2005
Wednesday, April 06, 2005
letter to my friends
dear friends,
have i ever expressed to you how much i appreciate what you've all done for me?
you never tire of laughing at my jokes.
you always make sure that we all get to have dinner together once in a while.
you help me in my never ending search for the perfect job.
you hold the tissue box when i cry my eyes out over the loss of ñ.
don't think me ungrateful, but i have one humungous favor to ask you.
don't anybody ever ever EVER set me up on a blind date ever again. EVER. i swear to God, i will chew my own foot off before i ever go out on a blind date again.
or if i absolutely must, at least make sure he looks like brad pitt.
thanks guys. you're the best.
love,
lissa
have i ever expressed to you how much i appreciate what you've all done for me?
you never tire of laughing at my jokes.
you always make sure that we all get to have dinner together once in a while.
you help me in my never ending search for the perfect job.
you hold the tissue box when i cry my eyes out over the loss of ñ.
don't think me ungrateful, but i have one humungous favor to ask you.
don't anybody ever ever EVER set me up on a blind date ever again. EVER. i swear to God, i will chew my own foot off before i ever go out on a blind date again.
or if i absolutely must, at least make sure he looks like brad pitt.
thanks guys. you're the best.
love,
lissa
Tuesday, April 05, 2005
to-do list of the unemployed
1. give dog a bath
2. take other dog to the vet
3. organize digital pictures in computer
4. delete fat pictures from computer
5. alphabetize books
6. decide whether to alphabetize books according to title or author
7. arrggh too difficult to alphabetize books. count them instead.
8. take a nap.
9. email employed friends with latest pictures of out-of-town trips (evil laugh here)
10. reorganize closet
11. decide which old clothes to discard, and which to keep with hopes to fit into again
12. retouch fake tattoo
13. file income tax returns by self
14. update photos and profiles in friendster, blogger and ym
15. take stuffed animals to dry cleaners
16. update bank records
17. get depressed over pathetically small savings
18. eat breakfast of oatmeal mixed with swiss miss
19. do five abdominal crunches...forget it. too painful
20. take another nap
2. take other dog to the vet
3. organize digital pictures in computer
4. delete fat pictures from computer
5. alphabetize books
6. decide whether to alphabetize books according to title or author
7. arrggh too difficult to alphabetize books. count them instead.
8. take a nap.
9. email employed friends with latest pictures of out-of-town trips (evil laugh here)
10. reorganize closet
11. decide which old clothes to discard, and which to keep with hopes to fit into again
12. retouch fake tattoo
13. file income tax returns by self
14. update photos and profiles in friendster, blogger and ym
15. take stuffed animals to dry cleaners
16. update bank records
17. get depressed over pathetically small savings
18. eat breakfast of oatmeal mixed with swiss miss
19. do five abdominal crunches...forget it. too painful
20. take another nap
Tuesday, March 22, 2005
a project eight years in the making
i've finally completed one of the things i've always wanted to do -- get to see all the ateneo schools in the philippines. and it took me eight years to do it.
ateneo de manila's a snap of course. i went there every day for four years. still go there once in a while these days to go to mass, look at the sky, and see the me that used to be.
xavier university in cagayan de oro city was next, in april 1997. it was the first leg of the end of my JVP year (i was a Jesuit Volunteer from 1996-1997 where i taught high school english in the north -- another long story all together -- and the trip to mindanao was part of that year's close for me). i remember being very woozy upon getting to xavier as i had just gotten off a 17-hour boat ride. hooray for super ferry.
ateneo de zamboanga followed less than a week later -- still a part of my great mindanao road trip of 1997. i also arrived in zamboanga dirty and disoriented, as it had been a 13-hour non-aircon bus ride from cagayan de oro (and our bus was even stopped in the middle of the night somewhere in ipil for a "routine" check point, where all the males in the bus were made to get off by scary men carrying enormous guns.)
ateneo de davao twice, once in september 2002 and once in august 2003. i visited my sister for who was a JVP herself in 2002 for her birthday. then in 2003, ateneo proved to be a perfect backdrop to the kadayawan festival.
and finally, ateneo de naga in march 2005. totally unplanned, totally spur of the moment, and totally beautiful.
thanks to all the JVPs who sheltered, fed, and toured us and for making my great ateneo trek as fabulous as it was.
ateneo de manila's a snap of course. i went there every day for four years. still go there once in a while these days to go to mass, look at the sky, and see the me that used to be.
xavier university in cagayan de oro city was next, in april 1997. it was the first leg of the end of my JVP year (i was a Jesuit Volunteer from 1996-1997 where i taught high school english in the north -- another long story all together -- and the trip to mindanao was part of that year's close for me). i remember being very woozy upon getting to xavier as i had just gotten off a 17-hour boat ride. hooray for super ferry.
ateneo de zamboanga followed less than a week later -- still a part of my great mindanao road trip of 1997. i also arrived in zamboanga dirty and disoriented, as it had been a 13-hour non-aircon bus ride from cagayan de oro (and our bus was even stopped in the middle of the night somewhere in ipil for a "routine" check point, where all the males in the bus were made to get off by scary men carrying enormous guns.)
ateneo de davao twice, once in september 2002 and once in august 2003. i visited my sister for who was a JVP herself in 2002 for her birthday. then in 2003, ateneo proved to be a perfect backdrop to the kadayawan festival.
and finally, ateneo de naga in march 2005. totally unplanned, totally spur of the moment, and totally beautiful.
thanks to all the JVPs who sheltered, fed, and toured us and for making my great ateneo trek as fabulous as it was.
Thursday, March 17, 2005
merely a word
Am reading The Dante Club and I don’t know how much of that is fiction but there’s a part there that says that after his wife Fanny died, Henry Wadsworth Longfellow never wrote a single word about her. Instead, after her death, all he could write were lines of an Alfred Tennyson poem – “Sleep sweetly, tender heart, in peace.” If it were his own words Longfellow was writing, the temptation to write Fanny’s name would be too strong, and then she would be merely a word.
(would that ñ be merely a word, even after all the times I have written it.)
(would that ñ be merely a word, even after all the times I have written it.)
Wednesday, February 02, 2005
Wednesday, January 05, 2005
eyes wide open
lesson learned from 2004.
keep your eyes wide open.
that way, you know exactly what you're getting into
and you won't miss a thing while getting into it.
happy 2005 to me.
keep your eyes wide open.
that way, you know exactly what you're getting into
and you won't miss a thing while getting into it.
happy 2005 to me.
Wednesday, December 29, 2004
the two towels
a friend texted me the other day asking me what christmas means to me, as she wanted input to be added to her christmas scrapbook. so i spent a better part of my sunbathing time thinking about it and came up with this thought. christmas for me, at least for the past three years, means having two towels hanging in my bathroom, instead of one.
i've shared a bedroom with my younger sister for more than half my life. our arguments would vary depending on how old we were. when she was three and i was nine, i'd get mad at her insistence of sleeping with a nightlight, as i cannot stand sleeping with the lights on. when she was ten and i was sixteen, she'd get a bit upset (although she'd never admit it) at the way i'd call our room "my room," thereby denouncing her fair ownership of it. when she was 15 and i was 21, she had our bedroom all to herself, as i spent that year living in bontoc, mt. province where i spent one year as a teacher.
for the past three years though, i've been without a roommate. my sister has been living in mindanao for the past three years and it looks like she'll be living there for a longer time still. and so i have been living in my room alone for the past three years. no nightlight to bother me, no weird music to have to put up with, no lights being kept on all night, no disarray in the bathroom.
but the drawbacks outwiegh the benefits of not having my sister to share a room with. no more late night conversations, not having easy access to a second opinion on an outfit i've decided to wear, and believe it or not, not having anyone to nag to pickup after herself in the bathroom.
if there ever was a sadder image that represented my sister and best friend not living at home, it's the image of just one towel in the towel rack in my bathroom. having two towels means that my sister's home for christmas, for having someone to giggle with at night, for having someone to tell my my shoes do not go with my jeans.
having two towels in the bathroom means my best friend is back home, and that'll we'll be giggling and acting like two year olds again. two year olds and eight year olds, i mean.
i've shared a bedroom with my younger sister for more than half my life. our arguments would vary depending on how old we were. when she was three and i was nine, i'd get mad at her insistence of sleeping with a nightlight, as i cannot stand sleeping with the lights on. when she was ten and i was sixteen, she'd get a bit upset (although she'd never admit it) at the way i'd call our room "my room," thereby denouncing her fair ownership of it. when she was 15 and i was 21, she had our bedroom all to herself, as i spent that year living in bontoc, mt. province where i spent one year as a teacher.
for the past three years though, i've been without a roommate. my sister has been living in mindanao for the past three years and it looks like she'll be living there for a longer time still. and so i have been living in my room alone for the past three years. no nightlight to bother me, no weird music to have to put up with, no lights being kept on all night, no disarray in the bathroom.
but the drawbacks outwiegh the benefits of not having my sister to share a room with. no more late night conversations, not having easy access to a second opinion on an outfit i've decided to wear, and believe it or not, not having anyone to nag to pickup after herself in the bathroom.
if there ever was a sadder image that represented my sister and best friend not living at home, it's the image of just one towel in the towel rack in my bathroom. having two towels means that my sister's home for christmas, for having someone to giggle with at night, for having someone to tell my my shoes do not go with my jeans.
having two towels in the bathroom means my best friend is back home, and that'll we'll be giggling and acting like two year olds again. two year olds and eight year olds, i mean.
Tuesday, December 21, 2004
TIIS
read this off a friend's friendster page
TIIS -- tang ina i'm single
laughed my head off.
passed it around immediately.
TIIS -- tang ina i'm single
laughed my head off.
passed it around immediately.
Friday, December 17, 2004
Alt 164
That ubiquitous letter -- ñ -- is such a fascinating letter of the alphabet (I'm not even sure it's considered a member of the alphabet family). The way it's pronounced by itself -- enye -- and the way it sounds when squished next to other letters -- nyuh -- throws me in for the loop. Fascinates me to no end.
Of course, using that letter has its drawbacks. If you don't know the shortcut keys in Word, you end up with the bland looking n instead of the more dazzling ñ, which definitely has more character than its more sedate counterpart.
The ñ looks like a regular n that took a walk, got caught in the rain, and took shelter under the safety of an umbrella.
Kind of like the ñ in my life who I used to find shelter with as well.
ñ, this is for you. Thank you for sheltering me when I got caught in the rain. And thank you for sheltering me still even when the rain stopped.
Of course, using that letter has its drawbacks. If you don't know the shortcut keys in Word, you end up with the bland looking n instead of the more dazzling ñ, which definitely has more character than its more sedate counterpart.
The ñ looks like a regular n that took a walk, got caught in the rain, and took shelter under the safety of an umbrella.
Kind of like the ñ in my life who I used to find shelter with as well.
ñ, this is for you. Thank you for sheltering me when I got caught in the rain. And thank you for sheltering me still even when the rain stopped.
Wednesday, October 27, 2004
supersize me
my little sister's home for a week -- she'll be here til after halloween hooray! and my big brother's staying at home for a couple more days as well hooray again! my favorite part about having my parents out of the country for a couple of days at a time is that my siblings and i seem to be able to bond more.
last night, my sister brought home a dvd of supersize me. two minutes into the dvd, my kuya handed me the phone and said "order ka ng pizza. ang sarap bigla kumain." good thing that we already had dinner so we didn't binge on pizza anymore, especially since we had a first-hand look at how a McDiet can kill you.
i guess we were all so full from dinner that we all fell asleep halfway into the movie. i woke up a bit after midnight to my kuya's loud snoring and to my sister's foot on my stomach cutting off my oxygen. i didn't get up right away, i just wanted to lie there and enjoy the fact that i was at home vegetating with my two favorite people in the world.
it was such a kodak moment -- my brother lying flat on his back on the bed snoring like a tractor, my sister sprawled on the lazy boy with her leg lying across my stomach, and me lying on my side with drool puddling on my pillow. priceless.
last night, my sister brought home a dvd of supersize me. two minutes into the dvd, my kuya handed me the phone and said "order ka ng pizza. ang sarap bigla kumain." good thing that we already had dinner so we didn't binge on pizza anymore, especially since we had a first-hand look at how a McDiet can kill you.
i guess we were all so full from dinner that we all fell asleep halfway into the movie. i woke up a bit after midnight to my kuya's loud snoring and to my sister's foot on my stomach cutting off my oxygen. i didn't get up right away, i just wanted to lie there and enjoy the fact that i was at home vegetating with my two favorite people in the world.
it was such a kodak moment -- my brother lying flat on his back on the bed snoring like a tractor, my sister sprawled on the lazy boy with her leg lying across my stomach, and me lying on my side with drool puddling on my pillow. priceless.
Saturday, October 16, 2004
change my hair, change my luck
cut my hair yesterday. away with the faux cameron-diaz-in-charlie's-angels flippable hair and back to my no-nonsense vaguely gay-man hair.
my peanut butter streaks have almost disappeared (thank God, getting peanut butter streaks in my hair was not one of my smarter ideas) and more of my white hair/ skunk streaks have emerged.
maybe this new hair will make things better. lord knows i've tried everything to improve my life
from prozac
to Big Macs
to pedicures
to kick boxing
to coupland
maybe changing my hair will do the trick this time.
my peanut butter streaks have almost disappeared (thank God, getting peanut butter streaks in my hair was not one of my smarter ideas) and more of my white hair/ skunk streaks have emerged.
maybe this new hair will make things better. lord knows i've tried everything to improve my life
from prozac
to Big Macs
to pedicures
to kick boxing
to coupland
maybe changing my hair will do the trick this time.
Tuesday, October 12, 2004
God in my lipgloss
conversation in the car with my sister on the way to my dad's surprise birthday party.
ninin: ate try mo tong blueberry lip gloss ko, ang ganda. looooove ko this lip gloss.
ate: loooove mo ang lip gloss? love mo siya like your God?
ninin: oo! remember, God in all things.
ho boy.
God in my lipgloss.
God in my Prozac.
ninin: ate try mo tong blueberry lip gloss ko, ang ganda. looooove ko this lip gloss.
ate: loooove mo ang lip gloss? love mo siya like your God?
ninin: oo! remember, God in all things.
ho boy.
God in my lipgloss.
God in my Prozac.
Wednesday, September 29, 2004
cleanup weekend
went diving this weekend yahoo! so am back to being my normal sane self again.
i've said it once and i will say it a zillion times more. i love diving. it has literally changed my life. and i hope to continue diving until i'm old and gray.
i was in anilao this weekend for the coastal cleanup. stayed overnight with friends whose diving careers have dwindled to just this annual event. we all have such busy lives that if we just had to choose one weekend in which to dive, it would be during the coastal cleanup.
we cleaned caban cove, the ickiest and dirtiest dive site in anilao. i was lugging my fishnet sack and filling it with shampoo sachets, beer cans, stray pieces of rope, the occasional boot and sandal, and an unbelievable amount of junk food and candy wrappers. amazing the sort of stuff that ends up at the bottom of the ocean. one of my friends even found a one peso coin from the 1980s.
my favorite dive site for this weekend was in steps, a hop skip and jump away from cathedral. it was a pretty shallow dive,about 80 feet max depth. at 60 feet, there was the remains of this bangka that was about 30 feet long and ten feet wide. and there was a little space underneath it where you could swim under. a very cheap thrill similar to that of hole in the wall in puerto galera. and the wall was just like steps, an orderly progression of walls that lead you deeper and deeper into the ocean. it would have been great to have gone deeper but i got cold and it was dark so we all just went back up.
at 60 feet, i found the funniest thing -- a park bench. a cement park bench perched by the side of the remains of the bangka. i simply just had to swim over and sit on it, just to be able to say that i sat on a park bench at the bottom of the sea.
and it was at this dive where i had the most fascinating safety stop. at 15 feet, there were more park benches scattered about! there was even a little round cement park table. so all of us in the group sat on one park bench each and waited out our safety stop. there was even a school of little catfish that was clumped near us and i swam towards them and tried to herd them in one direction. i felt like godzilla advancing on a troop of terrified city people before being squashed to bits. fortunately for me, the DM stopped me from getting any nearer as catfish are apparently very poisonous fish. wouldn't have wanted to end my life as a godzilla impersonator being poisoned to death by a school of one-inch fish.
got my dive, got my buddies, got my new bikini, got my tan, got the ocean, got great viz...life can't get any better than that.
Tuesday, September 21, 2004
one big fight!
as far as i'm concerned, UAAP basketball season's over for me. what an awful and embarrassing way to end after such a brilliant beginning.
the months between july and september are my absolute favorite months for basketball. this is the only time of the year when i actually like the game and can spend hours at a time watching and talking about the game. this, from the most apathetic person in the world when it comes to sports.
ateneo's basketball team started so unbelievably well. six (or was it seven?) straight wins, effectively sweeping the first round. then larry hurt his knee. and everything went downhill from there. it got so bad that even UP beat them, and the last win against NU was a difficult win at best. unbelievable.
and yesterday's game, oh man. i deliberately chose to go to mass at 4:30 so i would be spared the early quarters of the game. the mass ended exactly as the thrid quarter started and it was such a good start. then it got simply embarrassing after a while. it got so painful that a few minutes before the quarter ended, i switch channels to see what kris and boy were talking about in the buzz.
i'm the lousiest fan in the world. at bad games, i have been caught screaming "i am going to f***ing murder you!!!" at the ateneo players (albeit through the tv screen) when the team does a particularly bad play. similarly, i have been known to yell "rip his f***ing head off!!!" when the game gets to be a bit too physical. i guess i'm lucky that i am forever too lazy to scavenge for tickets otherwise it would be my head that would be f***ing ripped off at the game.
i've been cheering for this team for 20 years -- that's more than half my life. andno matter how much i scream for them and at them, they've only managed to win three championships, two when i was still too young to go to ateneo, and one when i had loooong graduated from ateneo already. it's been more a period of loss than of victory.
but cheer for them i will. i still have forty good years of screaming and cheering left. they may suck, they may choke, they may do one bad play after another, but they are responsible for some of the brightest and shiniest moments of ateneo pride i did not even realize i had. where else can you find a school where, after 13 years of never winning, finally win a championship and as if by some secret signal, draw old and young ateneans to katipunan for an impromptu party that was waiting for 13 years to happen? for that championship, the victory was too big to contain by one's self that we all had to go to ateneo to share in the victory there. magic.
they're my blue eagles and i will cheer and scream for them forever.
go ateneo! one big fight!
the months between july and september are my absolute favorite months for basketball. this is the only time of the year when i actually like the game and can spend hours at a time watching and talking about the game. this, from the most apathetic person in the world when it comes to sports.
ateneo's basketball team started so unbelievably well. six (or was it seven?) straight wins, effectively sweeping the first round. then larry hurt his knee. and everything went downhill from there. it got so bad that even UP beat them, and the last win against NU was a difficult win at best. unbelievable.
and yesterday's game, oh man. i deliberately chose to go to mass at 4:30 so i would be spared the early quarters of the game. the mass ended exactly as the thrid quarter started and it was such a good start. then it got simply embarrassing after a while. it got so painful that a few minutes before the quarter ended, i switch channels to see what kris and boy were talking about in the buzz.
i'm the lousiest fan in the world. at bad games, i have been caught screaming "i am going to f***ing murder you!!!" at the ateneo players (albeit through the tv screen) when the team does a particularly bad play. similarly, i have been known to yell "rip his f***ing head off!!!" when the game gets to be a bit too physical. i guess i'm lucky that i am forever too lazy to scavenge for tickets otherwise it would be my head that would be f***ing ripped off at the game.
i've been cheering for this team for 20 years -- that's more than half my life. andno matter how much i scream for them and at them, they've only managed to win three championships, two when i was still too young to go to ateneo, and one when i had loooong graduated from ateneo already. it's been more a period of loss than of victory.
but cheer for them i will. i still have forty good years of screaming and cheering left. they may suck, they may choke, they may do one bad play after another, but they are responsible for some of the brightest and shiniest moments of ateneo pride i did not even realize i had. where else can you find a school where, after 13 years of never winning, finally win a championship and as if by some secret signal, draw old and young ateneans to katipunan for an impromptu party that was waiting for 13 years to happen? for that championship, the victory was too big to contain by one's self that we all had to go to ateneo to share in the victory there. magic.
they're my blue eagles and i will cheer and scream for them forever.
go ateneo! one big fight!
Tuesday, September 14, 2004
no more Bok
Bok died last Friday.
a friend put it so perfectly.
pag namatayan ka ng aso na mahal mo, para kang nawalang ng kapatid.
i think it's going to take more than 19 years for me to like another dog again.
a friend put it so perfectly.
pag namatayan ka ng aso na mahal mo, para kang nawalang ng kapatid.
i think it's going to take more than 19 years for me to like another dog again.
Wednesday, September 08, 2004
Bok Bok bokokok
i'm not the biggest animal fan in the world. sure i love fish, but just to the point of admiring their colors and pointing out the really freaky-looking ones. fish live in a world of their own, where you are and will forever be a spectator and even intruder into their world.
cats freak me out. enough said.
dogs, well, dogs are a different story. i've heard and read enough about the freaky people who dress up their dogs in burberry sweaters and sit them on embroidered pillows (can anyone spell paris hilton?) most of the time i don't even get what the whole fuss is about dogs.
we've always had dogs for as long as i can remember -- patty, who had eight pups one time which we named after the planets (we didn't name any of them a pluto, too reminiscent of walt disney's dog). boris, the dachsund who'd bark at me when i get home way after my curfew. noodles, a japanese spitz that was the most ladylike of our dogs. she'd sit like a debutante at her coming out ball -- back straight with her two front paws crossed in front of her. baron and blink, a pair of labrador retrievers who were so dumb they didn't know how to have sex.
they were fun dogs -- they lived long lives, barked at the postman, newspaper deliver boy, meralco bill man, and the pizza hut delivery man. but as far as i was concerned, they were just dogs, as much a part of the landscape at home as the santol tree and the gumamela plants. all our dogs but two. and they were both named Bok.
the first Bok came into our lives when i was ten. he was one of those askals that eventually find their way into your home when the askals of your relatives give birth to a bunch of pups and they give the pups away. Bok was a white dog with black spots scattered randomly all over his body. he was just a regular dog but for some reason, he wormed his way into my non-dog loving heart. i've had him for about a year when the accident had to happen. our maid at the time was a bit old and her eyesight wasn't as it used to be. she was pushing the sliding door shut and she didn't see that Bok was in the doorway. poor Bok got his nose caught in the door and the trauma was bad enough to put him in a coma. he was in a coma for almost a week and we had the vet do everything to revive him. and he revived but he was never the same. it was as if he had forgotten all about us and would try to bite me whenever i'd get too close. it was as if he was still really angry at having the door slammed on his face and he remained angry til the day he died.
i went through the usual "i'm never going to love another dog as long as i live" phase that all bereaved dog owners go through. it was 18 years before i loved another dog again. and it was no accident that i named him Bok as well.
i was having one of my black weeks when my mom came home and said "i have a surprise for you." she gave me a ball of white with black spots scattered randomly all over his body. it was Bok all over again. same white fur, same black spots, same askal look and demeanor. and it was this Bok that rescued me and pushed me out of that black place.
Bok's been sick the past couple of weeks. he has heartworm, this pesky disease that dogs get when they get bitten by mosquitoes. so for the past couple of days, Bok has been freaking me out when he runs up to meet me. he runs up to me then suddenly just keels over. the first time he did this i thought he had a heart attack which nearly gave me a heart attack. will just wait for the treatment to kick in. in the meantime, he just sits next to me with his head on my lap, occasionally putting up his paw and asking for a tummy rub.
i hope he gets well quick. i know i haven't turned into one of those dog owners who dress up their dogs in silly burberry sweaters. i've become one of those dog owners who've let their dogs worm their way into their hearts.
how does one recover from a loss of a dog? i wouldn't know. i don't think that's ever happened to anyone yet. you lose a dog, you lose a part of you that keeps you human.
cats freak me out. enough said.
dogs, well, dogs are a different story. i've heard and read enough about the freaky people who dress up their dogs in burberry sweaters and sit them on embroidered pillows (can anyone spell paris hilton?) most of the time i don't even get what the whole fuss is about dogs.
we've always had dogs for as long as i can remember -- patty, who had eight pups one time which we named after the planets (we didn't name any of them a pluto, too reminiscent of walt disney's dog). boris, the dachsund who'd bark at me when i get home way after my curfew. noodles, a japanese spitz that was the most ladylike of our dogs. she'd sit like a debutante at her coming out ball -- back straight with her two front paws crossed in front of her. baron and blink, a pair of labrador retrievers who were so dumb they didn't know how to have sex.
they were fun dogs -- they lived long lives, barked at the postman, newspaper deliver boy, meralco bill man, and the pizza hut delivery man. but as far as i was concerned, they were just dogs, as much a part of the landscape at home as the santol tree and the gumamela plants. all our dogs but two. and they were both named Bok.
the first Bok came into our lives when i was ten. he was one of those askals that eventually find their way into your home when the askals of your relatives give birth to a bunch of pups and they give the pups away. Bok was a white dog with black spots scattered randomly all over his body. he was just a regular dog but for some reason, he wormed his way into my non-dog loving heart. i've had him for about a year when the accident had to happen. our maid at the time was a bit old and her eyesight wasn't as it used to be. she was pushing the sliding door shut and she didn't see that Bok was in the doorway. poor Bok got his nose caught in the door and the trauma was bad enough to put him in a coma. he was in a coma for almost a week and we had the vet do everything to revive him. and he revived but he was never the same. it was as if he had forgotten all about us and would try to bite me whenever i'd get too close. it was as if he was still really angry at having the door slammed on his face and he remained angry til the day he died.
i went through the usual "i'm never going to love another dog as long as i live" phase that all bereaved dog owners go through. it was 18 years before i loved another dog again. and it was no accident that i named him Bok as well.
i was having one of my black weeks when my mom came home and said "i have a surprise for you." she gave me a ball of white with black spots scattered randomly all over his body. it was Bok all over again. same white fur, same black spots, same askal look and demeanor. and it was this Bok that rescued me and pushed me out of that black place.
Bok's been sick the past couple of weeks. he has heartworm, this pesky disease that dogs get when they get bitten by mosquitoes. so for the past couple of days, Bok has been freaking me out when he runs up to meet me. he runs up to me then suddenly just keels over. the first time he did this i thought he had a heart attack which nearly gave me a heart attack. will just wait for the treatment to kick in. in the meantime, he just sits next to me with his head on my lap, occasionally putting up his paw and asking for a tummy rub.
i hope he gets well quick. i know i haven't turned into one of those dog owners who dress up their dogs in silly burberry sweaters. i've become one of those dog owners who've let their dogs worm their way into their hearts.
how does one recover from a loss of a dog? i wouldn't know. i don't think that's ever happened to anyone yet. you lose a dog, you lose a part of you that keeps you human.
Wednesday, August 25, 2004
back to the 80s
it's an absolutely beastly rainy day and i'd rather be in bed. since work's slow today (the flood kept our candidates at home, smart of them), my officemate put on a CD with music from the 80s. so for at least an hour and half, i was back at a time where people went out on weekends to go dancing, where parties were not complete with the ubiquitous mobile, and coffee shops and celfones were non-existent.
this was a time in life when high school boys and girls met each other in underground (read: not sanctioned by the school) soirees at the girl's house (must be the girl's house, if you have it in the boy's house, you're considered cheap) where you'd have all sorts of games to get people to talk and eventually dance with each other. and the ultimate thrill was for one of the cute boys to ask for your home phone number. and you were the envy of all your other classmates when they find out the following schoolday.
this was when people actually talked on the phone for hours at a time. not being hampered by the burden of text messaging, boys would call girls at home and put on the moves then. the braver of the boys would get their close buddies (two at the most) to act as their wing men while they visit the girl they like at her house. and the girl would have an equal number of friends who "happened" to drop by her house at the same time. snack of choice was coke and the red granny goose tortilla chips.
these were Aquanet days -- girls would tease their bangs and spray it in place and come out with the Aquanet look. props for the girl with the best looking bangs. you didn't Aquanet your hair, you were as good as dead.
it was that difficult period of growing up, where all the proverbial changes were hitting you hard and you felt all you had was the music of mike francis, depeche mode, fra lippo lippi, snap, and color me badd to get you through.
this is for april and nadine, two good buds who made that difficult transition of pretending to grow up so much easier.
this was a time in life when high school boys and girls met each other in underground (read: not sanctioned by the school) soirees at the girl's house (must be the girl's house, if you have it in the boy's house, you're considered cheap) where you'd have all sorts of games to get people to talk and eventually dance with each other. and the ultimate thrill was for one of the cute boys to ask for your home phone number. and you were the envy of all your other classmates when they find out the following schoolday.
this was when people actually talked on the phone for hours at a time. not being hampered by the burden of text messaging, boys would call girls at home and put on the moves then. the braver of the boys would get their close buddies (two at the most) to act as their wing men while they visit the girl they like at her house. and the girl would have an equal number of friends who "happened" to drop by her house at the same time. snack of choice was coke and the red granny goose tortilla chips.
these were Aquanet days -- girls would tease their bangs and spray it in place and come out with the Aquanet look. props for the girl with the best looking bangs. you didn't Aquanet your hair, you were as good as dead.
it was that difficult period of growing up, where all the proverbial changes were hitting you hard and you felt all you had was the music of mike francis, depeche mode, fra lippo lippi, snap, and color me badd to get you through.
this is for april and nadine, two good buds who made that difficult transition of pretending to grow up so much easier.
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